Un-Ordinary
by Da Kaleidoscope
Summary: I thought the biggest challenge of my life would be defeating DJ Octavio and saving Inkopolis. Of course, the universe then proceeded to throw me into the depths of Octoling territory, set the government after me, give me a child, blow up Inkopolis Plaza, and make me fall in love with three girls...at the same time. Welcome to my life.
1. It was completely normal-

**So, yeah, it's been a few months. In that time, I took a really long impromptu hiatus and Splatoon 2 came out! This, of course, motivated me to write this story again.**

 **Now, some of you might be wondering why there's a new chapter one and where all the other chapters went to. The reason I did this is because when I first started writing Un-Ordinary, I meant it to be a crackpot. But I couldn't really write a decent story like that, and it seemed to be _actually getting reads_ , so I decided to give it a real plot halfway through. That just made it more terrible.**

 **Now, I have the entire plot flushed out and I'm aiming for regular updates...past this first one. I just wanted to get this chapter out, because it's already been too long, and so that people can see what I'm aiming for. I apologize if you were expecting the next chapter or if you liked the original thing better, but it just wasn't working for me.**

 **And without further ado, STORY TIME SQUIDKIDS!**

* * *

" _Take your sister and RUN!" The words of his father cut through the roar of the flames and the bangs of the gunshots. With tears running down his cheeks from the smoke and pain, skin glistening from the inferno around him, the inkboy grabbed his wailing sibling and limped as fast as he could around the fire. A last burst of adrenaline knocked down the already damaged door, and the two escaped into the shattered calm of the night._

 _The sounds and heat faded as they speeded away from the destruction. His sister quieted into low, hiccupping sobs against his chest. Finally, they collapsed in the forest behind their house. The inkboy took a moment to glance over his sister and a seared, bright red patch on his leg before looking back._

 _Before his eyes, the walls caved in. The roof crashed down in a great woosh of hot air and soot. The two children froze, waiting, hoping, disbelieving._

 _Their only reward was the fire licking at the stars._

* * *

Cole opened his eyes slowly, his vision blurred with tears. The last remnants of the destruction, of the pain and loss, slowly disappeared as he sat up. He wiped his eyes and stared at the blanket for a bit, and then with a sort of resigned determination, got ready for the day. He had just finished brushing his teeth when his phone rang.

The Squid Sister's theme song lifted his spirits for a bit, but the number on the screen made him want to facepalm.

Sighing, he answered. "Again?" he asked as a greeting. A muffled confirmation came from the other end. "I'll be there in ten." He hung up, stretched, and grabbed his keys before locking the door behind him.

Exactly nine minutes later, Cole arrived at Octo Valley with a bagel in hand. "Hey Callie, Marie," he said as he walked into the disheveled hut.

"Cooooooooole," Callie whined through her scarf, "How many times do we have to tell you to call us Agents 1 and 2?!"

"If I could figure out who you were within five seconds of meeting you, there's no point in using you 'code names'," Cole answered as he rolled out an inkling-sized glass dome. He settled it next to the shattered remains of the original snow globe.

"Alright," Marie said, cutting off Callie's retort. "Let's just get Gramps and leave."

"Yeah!" Callie enthusiastically responded, flinging up her roller. A stray drop of ink sailed through the air and hit the new snow globe top. The glass shattered into a fine dust.

Marie facepalmed.

 _ **Five hours later…**_

Cole groaned, letting Capn' Cuttlefish slide off his back and onto a waiting chair. "Thanks, bucko!" the old inkling exclaimed.

"No, problem, Capn'," Cole wheezed out, rubbing his back. _And if you have one more last minute errand that you forgot about, I'm going to blow something up._

"Oh, yeah, bucko, I almost forgot!"

 _Welp, looks like Inkopolis is going to be a smoking crater by tomorrow._

"I'm planning to go on a short research expedition in two months or so, and I was wondering if you would accompany me as an assistant?"

Cole blinked. _Well I wasn't expecting that, and anything related to SCIENCE! is a good cause, buuuuuuut…_

"I'll have to check my schedule," Cole responded, dodging the question. The war veteran appeared to not notice, and waved him off.

Cole stepped outside to see that Callie had successfully bribed Octavio to stay in his snow globe with a lifetime supply of crabbie cakes.

"She does realize," Marie whispered to Cole, "that the majority of the cakes are outside the globe, and Octavio is going to have to leave to get them, right?"

Cole simply shrugged. He knew better than to take sides in the eternal friendly-war-thing between the two pseudo-siblings.

"Alright girls, I need to head off," Cole said, interrupting Callie as she attempted to not-so-sneakily steal back one of the crabbie cake packs. "I have a match in twenty."

"Good luck!" the inkgirls chorused in unison, before glaring daggers at each other. Cole sweatdropped as he went through the grate.

* * *

"Hey, Cole, over here!"

Cole caught sight of a wild-haired inkling through the thick crowd in Inkopolis Plaza. With a smile, he approached his only (male) friend.

"Hi Brett. You ready?"

The inkboy just smiled and twirled his carbon roller with practiced ease.

"It looks like our opponents aren't here yet. We might as well sit down while we wait. Though, the benches are already filled…"

Brett, however, stopped listening to Cole after he had said "wait," and instead headed straight towards a seat that had two napping inklings on it.

Cole blinked and then immediately ran after Brett. "Dude, don't-"

"Hey, can my buddy and I sit here? Thanks."

The two inklings, a boy and girl, stirred to wakefulness at Brett's voice.

"Wha?" the inkboy mumbled.

"Sorry," Cole apologized. "I'll just grab my friend and refresh him on proper social customs."

"Hey! I taught you those in the first place!"

"Thank God I didn't listen to you."

"Uh…no, it's fine," the inkgirl cut in. She scooted closer to her companion to make room for Cole.

Cole sighed but nonetheless accepted the invitation.

"So, introductions!" the inkboy started once Cole settled down. "My name is John, and her name is Kay."

"Brett, and my friend here is Cole-hey, man, what's wrong?"

Cole and started and stared at Kay with a strange look on his face once he heard her name. "Oh, um, sorry," he said, jerking out of his reverie. "You just…reminded me of someone."

"Hey!" The quartet turned towards the source of the shout, a short, white-haired inkgirl with a crown and a Splattershot. "You're our opponents right?"

"Uh, actually, these two aren't-"

"Great! Meet us in the lobby!" the inkgirl announced, cutting Cole off. Before he could protest, she ran off.

Cole sighed. "Alright, we should go and clear that up."

"Nice meeting y'all," Brett said, with a wave.

"Whoa whoa whoa. Where's the rest of your team?" John looked around, futilely trying to identify his new acquaintances' teammates among the plethora of inklings.

"Eh, they called off last night," Brett told them, his tone carefree. "We didn't have time to recruit anyone else, but we'll be fine."

"Fine? How do you call a two versus four fine?" Kay shook her head. "No, we'll join up with you."

"Uh, it's fine, really, you don't need to-" Cole tried, before being cut off.

"Nonsense!" Kay exclaimed, pulling out a Splatterscope from nowhere. "We'll join you. She thinks that we're teamed up, anyways."

"Really, it's fine-"

"Great!" Brett butt in with a grin, before Cole could finish. "We'd love your help!"

"Sweet! Let's splat those suckers!"

Cole facepalmed and whispered to Brett, "You just want to convert them to your fake religion, don't you?"

Brett gave him a cheesy smile. "Anything for you, God-kun."

* * *

 **So, I'm incorporating as much new information from Splatoon 2 as I can. Most stuff actually fit in neatly, despite not knowing the scrolls from Splatoon 2 until a few weeks after the release. And of course, small fragments of information always appear in Off the Hook broadcasts, so if any inconsistencies to canon appear, please forgive me.**

 **Just as a note, every character introduced in this chapter is either a main character or has a large supporting/pivotal role in the plot. Food for thought ;).**

 **Expect another update in 2-3 weeks, and then weekly updates (hopefully) after that.**

 **And as always, reviews are highly appreciated!**


	2. -until Octavio's crabbie cake got stolen

**Oh man the not-dead author finally updated his story like two weeks after he said he would with a chapter that's only 33% longer than the previous one.**

 **In all seriousness, I _was_ actually pretty busy with school. But I've learned my lesson, and instead of sticking to a rigid update schedule, I'm just gonna say that the next chapter will come out on some Thursday.**

 **I apologize in advance for any errors that might've slipped through my editing, and I hope you enjoy the second chapter of the rewrite!**

* * *

Five inklings stood in the Lobby. It was silent, except for the deranged sobs of another inkling, who was being slowly dragged away by two more.

"Um…sorry about your friend," Cole stammered nervously.

"…" The white-haired inkgirl didn't respond.

"You put up a good fight!"

"…"

"Thirty seconds on tower control is better than most people I've faced!"

"…"

"…I'm not helping, am I?"

"…"

Brett sighed at his friend's hopelessness and shoved him out of the way. With a flick of his wrist, he produced a business card seemingly from nowhere.

"Right. This guy is a good psychologist. I recommend you go there ASAP, before the depression, insanity and PTSD fully set in."

The inkgirl stared at the card dully, before slowly taking it.

"There, there," Brett said, patting the inkgirl's head. "You'll be all right."

The inkling's eye twitched, but she managed to give a curt nod and walk away.

"Thanks Brett." Cole let out a sigh. "I don't know what to do. That happens too often."

"Well, don't get comfortable yet. We still have to fix _them_." Brett pointed at their two teammates. John was staring at Cole like his brain had just imploded, while Kay gazed into empty space, her eyes glazed over and twitching.

"Oh, great," Cole groaned.

"Don't worry man, I'll handle this. You go take some rest."

"You sure?" Cole asked suspiciously.

"Yeah. You did carry after all."

"…alright, I guess."

With a wave, Cole walked out of the Lobby and into the still bright sun outside. The plaza had cleared up a bit by then, but was nonetheless still crowded. Stretching, he made his way to the train station to grab a ride back to his apartment.

 _Though,_ Cole thought as he boarded his ride, _I feel like I'm forgetting something…_

* * *

Brett snapped his fingers, breaking John and Kay out of their stupors.

"Right. Now that you've seen him in action-" Brett, with another flick of his wrist, conjured a pamphlet, "-could I interest you in a God-kun figurine?"

* * *

Cole gripped his Pro and pressed himself against the wall next to his apartment door.

His very much open apartment door.

Muffled voices filtered through from the interior; there were at least two, Cole guessed.

Steeling his nerves, Cole flipped around and barged in with his Pro already pointed at one of the intruders. Marie froze with a mouthful of crabbie cake. The two stared at each other for a moment, before Callie popped out from the kitchen.

"Oh! Hi Cole!"

"Uhhhhh…" Cole said, lowering his weapon. "What are you two doing here?"

"You left your keys back at Gramp's shack."

Cole checked his pockets; his keys were indeed missing. "Thanks…but what are you doing _inside_ my apartment?"

"I did say that it was rude," Marie defended, shooting a dirty look at Callie, "But she _insisted._ "

"Oh come on, you agreed to it in a heartbeat! Besides, two pop stars couldn't just wait out in the hallway, and we didn't know when you would get back, so waiting inside was the reasonable conclusion!"

"And you couldn't just call me because…?"

"…I didn't think of that."

Cole sighed. "Whatever. It's cool. Make yourselves at home."

"Thanks Cole! You're amazing!" And with that, Callie disappeared inside the kitchen to do who-knows-what.

Cole chucked his Pro onto his bed and then promptly collapsed next to it.

"How was your match?" Marie asked nonchalantly as she sat next to him.

"Fine, I guess. Though I ended up traumatizing six more…"

"That's become a real problem. I don't get it, though; we weren't affected when you were fighting the Octarians with us."

"That's just because you guys are special."

"Aw, that's sweet of you."

Cole had the nagging feeling his comment might've been taken the wrong way, but shrugged it off and continued lying in bed while Marie hummed. A few moments later, Callie stuck her head out again and announced, "Lunch is ready!"

"You made WHAT?!" Marie cried out, suddenly sounding panicked.

"You can cook?" Cole asked.

"Of course I can, silly," Callie chided, ignoring Marie's comment. "Come on over and eat!"

"Cole, don't do it!" Marie shouted, holding him back as he started to get up. "You don't know what her... _cooking..._ is like!"

Cole raised an eyebrow. "It can't be that-"

A slimy, gloopy _thing_ suddenly emerged from the door and grabbed the purple Squid Sister.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" she screamed as she was dragged away.

"Oh god, not again, not again," Marie whispered shakily from the corner she had teleported to, hugging her knees and rocking back and forth.

Cole just facepalmed.

* * *

"Thanks Cole," Callie murmured as she walked out of the shower after washing away all of the mysterious substance on her.

"Don't mention it," he replied flatly from his position at the stove.

"I second that," Marie said as she gazed warily at the sink, where the pot from where the abomination had emerged from was sitting innocently.

Cole moved over and placed another pot at the table. A delicious aroma wafted from it, catching the attention of the two inkgirls.

"You can cook?" they asked simultaneously.

"I live on my own, so yeah…" He rubbed the back of his neck nervously. "It may not be that good…"

Callie, however, had already spooned in some of the stew into a bowl and was inhaling it like she was a vacuum.

"Oh, this is sooooo gooooood," she moaned.

Marie nodded fervently, too busy stuffing her face to reprimand her cousin about her poor table manners.

"Er, glad you guys like it."

"Well, at least one of us can cook," Callie announced as she went in for seconds. Marie suddenly shot a death glare at her.

"Well, unlike you, I _can_ cook, which mean Cole wouldn't have to every time he doesn't want to be assaulted by a monster."

"Oh, puh-lease, you're meals taste slightly better than catfish food. And anyways, I bring much more to the table than just _cooking skills._ "

Marie stood up and crossed her arms. "Oh yeah?" she challenged. "Like _what_?"

Cole stared at the two bemusedly as Callie abandoned her food to start bickering with her counterpart.

 _Alright. The morally correct thing to do at this point is to split the two up and figure out what they keep on arguing about._

Cole promptly had a flashback when he attempted to do that very thing, only for the two inkgirls to turn on him and ask him something along the lines of "Who's better?" to which he had hurriedly given some sort of dumb neutral response, and caused his friends to give him the cold shoulder for the better part of a week.

Cole spooned some of his apparently excellent stew into a bowl and walked into the other room to watch some TV.

* * *

It had only taken about five minutes for the well-washed argument between the two inkgirls to die down, but they placed themselves on either side of Cole and seemed to have (possessively) glued themselves to him. He found the close contact oddly comforting, though he could have gone without the heated glares over his shoulders.

After a half-hour or so, Callie and Marie calmed down enough to leave together, and excused themselves, saying that they needed to help their grandfather with something.

Cole flipped the channels on his TV idly and was watching a documentary on Salmonoids and their upcoming migration when his phone rang. Curious, he looked at the caller ID and raised an eyebrow.

 _What's the Marie calling me so soon for?_

He accepted the call and put the phone up to his ear.

"Cole, I need you down in Octo Valley right now!" Said inkboy's brow creased with worry.

"Marie, what's wrong?"

"There's no time to explain!" Her voice sounded panicked, bordering on hysterical.

"Whoa, whoa, calm down," he said, attempting to reassure her. "I'm on my way." He hung up and grabbed his Pro and keys before rushing out of his apartment.

The sky outside had shifted to a cool purple-orange, a few shades darker than Cole's own preferred color. The Plaza was fairly empty by the time Cole got off the train, so it was fairly easy to find a moment when no one was looking to dive into the grate connecting Inkopolis to Octo Valley.

When he resurfaced, the immediately noted that the (incredibly fragile) glass dome which housed Octavio was nothing but fragments on dirt. The once-gigantic pile of crabbie cakes next to the snow globe was reduced to nothing but empty boxes. He looked past that to see that Marie and the Cap'n were waiting outside the shack.

Cuttlefish was gripping his cane fair too tightly, enough to bring the white out in his knuckles. Marie kept on shifting side to side, and her eyes kept on skipping up to the floating kettle which led to Octavio's lair.

Callie was nowhere to be found.

An icy, sinking feeling filled Cole's gut as he announced his arrival. "Hey guys. What's the issue?"

Marie practically warped over to him and stuffed his Hero gear into his arms. "Change quickly," she snapped.

"Where's Callie?" he asked, ignoring her unusually short temper. Her expression was all the answer he needed.

* * *

"So, you two finally decided to show up, eh?"

The area lit up, revealing the too-familiar metal platforms, complete with DJ Octavio floating in a gigantic machine, the fists primed and ready.

Marie gave no response, and adjusted the handkerchief covering her mouth and aimed her charger.

"Octavio," Cole began, also geared in his usual Hero outfit, with the exception of the Pro instead of the Hero Shot, "Where's Callie, and why'd you take her?"

"Oh? You mean that thieving squid hasn't told you two yet?"

Marie and Cole shared a look. "Uh," Cole replied. "No…?"

"SHE STOLE ONE OF MY CRABBIE CAKES!"

Dead silence ensued.

"…that's it?!" Marie exclaimed, unable to hold it in any longer. "You kidnapped my sister because she stole ONE box of cakes, out of the LIFETIME SUPPLY which you SOMEHOW FINISHED WITHIN TWELVE HOURS?!"

"WE HAD A DEAL AND SHE BROKE IT!" the large Octoling roared. "AND FOR THAT, YOU'LL NEVER SEE HER AGAIN!"

Next to Marie, Cole suddenly stopped breathing.

|- _collapsed bonelessly. He had failed-_ |

"WHAT THE HELL THAT'S COMPLETELY OUT OF PROPORTION TO WHAT SHE DID TO YOU WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO HER?!" Marie screamed, her voice wavering on a fine line between rage and terror.

| _-walls painted in bright-blue life-ink-_ |

"Oh, I haven't permanently splatted her or anything like that. But what I _will_ do is going to be _far_ worse than death." Octavio cackled maniacally.

| _-mangled corpse-_ |

"I'm going to REPLACE HER MIND AND TAKE OVER INKOPOLIS!"

Marie's face twisted into an angry snarl and squeezed the trigger, her shot having been charged while they were speaking. Unfortunately, Octavio dodged nimbly to the side, and the shot splattered uselessly onto the ground.

"Ha! You could barely defeat me with three of you! Now that you're down to two-eh?!"

Marie blinked and then gasped. Somehow, Cole had nimbly jumped his way up to the cockpit of the machine in the brief moment when the two were distracted. He crouched at the edge of the control panel, his weapon hanging loosely at his side.

"Whoa whoa whoa," Octavio protested, waving his signature wasabi sticks around in distress. "The console is _off limits_. Now get off or-"

" _ **I won't let you take anyone from me again."**_

The eerie voice washed over the inkgirl and the octarian. Marie's neck prickled; the voice was filled with malice, but also a kind of deep hurt. It took her a few seconds to realize that it was coming from _Cole's_ mouth.

"Guh?" Octavio enunciated confusedly. Cole stepped forward, eyes shadowed, and his foot crushed a button. Sparks fizzled, and the lights flickered before shutting off.

Then the screams started.

* * *

 **For clarification, the italicized text within vertical lines are flashbacks.**

 **Yeah, so Cole has some weird stuff going on with him. And trust me, unlike the first version, it's not just because he's Gary Stu. He has legitimate reasons for going Dark!SuperSaiyan.**

 **As always, reviews are highly appreciated! They tell me that people actually bother to read what I write, and they can also help me improve my writing.**


	3. Error: Overload

**Lol this update took forever. You can thank the guy who asked for it, otherwise this probably would've taken another week.**

 **Anyways, I was looking at the Splatoon Fanfiction Archive, and it's in the top 15 most favorited fics! I'm genuinely surprised. Thank you all for your support, despite my laziness (^^).**

* * *

It was, Marie reflected much later, the first sign that everything was going to shit. The big giveaway was the five minutes of absolute darkness; primal fear overrode her cognitive functions, forcing her to drop her weapon and fumble around for a hiding spot, eventually giving up the task and just cowering on the platform as screams reverberated off of the area's acoustics. Sparks flew, illuminating shadows until the whole floating machine gave out and crashed down in a pile.

Somehow, the lights turned back on, revealing the deceptively tame scene of Cole panting over the twisted remains of Octavio's ship, gun in hand, while Octavio was –

Marie blinked, and the oppressive atmosphere shattered. She rubbed her eyes to make sure, but the vision didn't go away.

"Dada!"

The baby's voice broke Cole's terrifying trance, and Marie swore he muttered "Fuck, it happened again," before he focused on Octavio. Specifically, a tiny, baby Octavio.

"Uhhhhhh…" Cole uttered, neatly summing up the two inklings reactions.

Octavio, on the other hand, quickly lost interest in his 'Dada' and focused on pushing random buttons on the fried console.

"Ooookaaaaaayyyy…" Marie said as she got up and walked towards the scene. "I think you broke him so bad he turned into a younger, much more adorable version on himself as a self-defense mechanism."

"…Is that how it works?"

"No, I'm just bullshitting because nothing makes sense and I'm in shock and WHAT THE HELL JUST HAPPENED?!"

Cole winced. "Erm, it's like a kind of PTSD."

"PTSD," Marie repeated, surprised. "How? What happened?" she asked, her own fear forgotten at the revelation.

"It's…complicated." Cole sighed. "I know that we've been friends for a while-" Marie felt a small pang in her chest "-but I just don't like talking about it. Needless to say, it's a bit different than the normal version. I'll explain more when we get Callie and get out of here."

Marie nodded dumbly, the weight of what had just transpired and Cole's condition threatening to overwhelm her. _Though,_ she thought, _I wonder what triggered him…_

The two inklings sidestepped the crash site, giving the babified Octavio one last look before heading deeper in. The managed to find Callie in a hastily constructed metal shack, bound and gagged.

"Took you two long enough," she muttered once she was freed. "What happened earlier? I swear that I was going to pee in my pants."

"I'll explain later," Cole dismissed. Callie raised an eyebrow at Marie, who shrugged before following their mutual crush.

* * *

"OH MY GOD IT'S SO CUTE!" Callie tore off across the platform before diving into the wreckage. She grabbed Octavio in a hug, rubbing her face against his squishy body.

"Gah?" the baby gurgled, confused.

"And that is Octavio," Marie announced. Callie froze her cuddling and turned to her cousin.

"Say what?"

"That's Octavio. Cole…damaged him trying to get to you."

Callie's mind whirled through that laden statement, shifting between _what, that's not possible_ and _all of Octavio's sins are forgiven_ before settling on the latter half of the statement.

"Dwaa, Cole cares about me enough to traumatize a sentient being in his efforts to rescue me." She sighed, letting go of the baby in the process.

Marie facepalmed, muttering, "Of course she focused on that."

Cole fidgeted uncomfortably. "I'm not sure if that's a good thing…"

"Nonsense," she said, ignoring the evil eye her sibling was giving her.

"Maybe we should've left you here," Marie grumbled.

Callie's retort was cut of prematurely as a loud beeping echoed through the area. The trio looked around confusedly before settling on the forgotten individual who had resumed pushing buttons once he had escaped Callie's grasp.

"Um, what did he do?" Marie asked nervously.

Her question was answered when the floor suddenly gave out from underneath them. They seemed to float there for a moment, looking at each other in a dawning panic before plummeting down into the inky blackness.

* * *

Marina was having a pretty bad day. She was walking through a deserted cell, a suburb that was abandoned after a large portion of the populace moved to a city cell or above ground.

She would be up there too, if her request to relocate hadn't been denied for the umpteenth time. Sighing, she kicked a stray can and watched it skitter into a pile of filth.

 _I should stop before I get mugged or something_. She reluctantly turned around, heading back towards her monotonous life, her dreams shelved yet again.

 _One day,_ she halfheartedly attempted to convince herself, _one day I'll head up there, meet the Squid Sisters (and maybe Octavio, wherever he is) and start my own music career._

That's when the high-pitched wailing reached her ears. She froze, goosebumps rising along her dark skin. She looked around frantically, trying to locate the source of the ever-louder noise, before finally looking up.

She was met with a mass of squishiness and purple. Her head snapped back painfully, and she collapsed on her rear. Stars danced across her vision, and she momentarily worried that she damaged something before she was distracted by a movement on her face. It took her a few moments to collect herself and grab at the offending object.

Her fingers dug into yielding flesh before yanking it off, the suckers relinquishing their grip with a stinging _pop_. Marina blinked blearily for a few moments before looking down at the wriggling mass in her hands. Said mass shifted around until she saw the largest, most adorable pair of eyes attached to the smallest body she had ever seen.

"Okay," she said, still confused, "Why am I holding a baby?"

"Gah?"

* * *

He didn't know why it hurt so much. The fall lasted fairly long, but inklings didn't have bones. In fact, the only danger of falling was splattering against the ground so hard that they weren't able to reform from the resulting ink splash.

Yet, he felt like fire was coursing through him as he (quite literally) pulled himself together. In his state, he failed to realize that he hadn't quite splattered on impact, which was what had happened to the Squid Sisters.

Cole collapsed back on the ground in a haze of pain the second he finished reforming. He absently noted that his companions were little more than inkling-like masses of fluid.

With a grunt, Cole forced himself to his feet and took stock of their surroundings. Well-worn houses lined each side of a cracked street, one end closed off while the other curved out of view. The air smelled stale and was cool, and the lighting was poor; a few flickering lamps dimly illuminated the area. The sky-no, ceiling, Cole realized with trepidation-was obscured in shadow, though he could make out a few overlapping panels of metal and screen.

 _Octarian cell,_ Cole surmised. _But where are the octarians and octolings?_

Soon after Octavio's first defeat at the hands of Cole, the octarians and the inklings reached an accord. They agreed to cease fighting between the two sister species, and octolings would be welcome in the bustling, electricity-filled overworld, while inklings were free to traverse into the technologically-advanced subterranean cities. There were some other points, but Cole wasn't one for politics, instead focusing on the fact that while he was technically allowed to be underground, he could count on one hand how many inklings braved hostile atmosphere of the octarian populace. And the icing on the cake was the fact that he was none other than Agent 3, which he was sure would draw attention…as well as the business end of the guns of several octolings. Probably at the same time, too.

He sighed. _And it looks like we've all lost our own guns in the fall._

"Gluuuugh," Callie groaned, finished pulling her mass together.

"I hate Octavio," Mare muttered, plopping her newly-reformed self onto a crumbling curb.

Cole perked up at the mention of their longtime nemesis. "Where is he, by the way? I don't see him anywhere."

"Good riddance," Marie grumbled.

"How could you say that?!" Callie yelled, askance. "He was downright adorable!"

"And he kidnapped and threatened to brainwash you over _a crabbie cake,_ " Marie retorted.

Callie huffed. "That may be true, but you can't really hold it against the little guy. Babies do dumb things all the time."

"Callie, he was an adult when he did that."

"Technicalities," the inkgirl dismissed.

"Girls, I'd love to discuss Callie's Stockholm Syndrome later," ("Ha!" "Shut up.") "but we have to figure out where we are, where Octavio is, and how to get out of here."

Plan set, the trio set off down the road. Of course, they had just made it to the first junction when Cole crashed directly into an unsuspecting octoling.

* * *

"Hello?" Marina shouted, feeling distinctly stupid, "Anyone here?"

Nothing responded, except her faint echo.

Sighing, she looked down at her cargo. The baby had snuggled up comfortably in the cradle of arms, and was looking around blearily.

"You're quite tired, aren't you," she said gently, succumbing to his roundish charms. "Now, if we could just find you parents, everything would be great."

She managed to cross a street and was just turning a corner when something smashed into her for the second time that day. She collapsed on her still-sore back, arms instinctively clutching the baby to her chest.

She laid on the ground for a moment, breathless and aching all over.

"Sorry." A soft, apologetic voice washed over her ears before a hand was proffered. She accepted it, and was pulled up with surprising strength.

"Thanks," she said, taking a moment to dust herself off and look at whoever she bumped into to.

Her gaze was met with the dull orange eyes and hair of an inkling.

"Hold up, is that Octavio?"

She tore her eyes from the unsuspected visitor, only for them to land on the dual forms of her idols, Callie and Marie.

Then the purple inkgirl's words registered, and she looked down at the innocent-looking pile she was holding.

 _Error,_ her mind supplied to her helpfully. _CPU overload. Commencing restart._

"Dada!"

 _Warning: combustion imminent. Preparing ejection of higher-order cognitive functions._

* * *

Up till that day, if you were to describe the office of the enigmatic Siren, it would certainly not be 'messy.' Nor 'chaotic,' 'disorganized' or any other synonyms within the standard dictionary. Yet, that was the state the room was in as subordinates ran around frantically, ferrying messages and documents through the area. Tech specialists furiously pounded away at computers and several large monitors on the wall, futilely attempting to reconnect the signal lest they receive the ire of their boss.

Of course, to see all of this, you would first have to find the ultra-secretive branch of the government. In fact, it was doubtful that it could even be called part of the government, as only one individual within the country's entire administration could confidently state that he _knew_ about the organization and everything about it. He had expertly balanced the cloak-and-dagger business with his daytime job, threading a thin line as he siphoned off funds from grants, taxes, and several business fronts in order to support the costly yet worthwhile demands of the department.

It was this man, an inkling, who was seated in a high-backed chair behind a large mahogany desk, the private area poorly lit for no real reason other than to bathe everything in shadows. The inkling leaned forward, revealing a rather unusual pair of an unnatural hazel eye combined with a neon green. The underling in front of the shook nervously, though he did his best to hide it.

"So, Jensen, run by me again how we lost track of Subject C." The inkling's voice was smooth and subtle, yet strangely comforting and charismatic; it was where his namesake the Siren had originated from.

"The subject entered Octo Valley at 2046," Jensen managed to get out, maintaining his façade of calmness. "At 2057, there was an abnormal increase in heartrate and muscle movement, as well as irregular brainwaves."

"The trigger."

Jensen relaxed; the inkling would not have been bothering to listen and put forth the effort to interject if he had been intending to…reprimand...him.

"At 2102, the subject subdued Threat O before recovering Fault C. We continued to monitor the situation, but we had hypothesized that outside of Threat O's unusual reaction, everything would have turned out fine. Unfortunately, a trap was triggered, and the entire party fell deep underground. Due to the speed of the event, we were unable to boost the signal for subterranean transmission in time."

The inkling didn't say or do anything, instead electing to steeple his fingers and contemplate.

"Where were agents J and K during this?"

"They had completed First Contact and were analyzing initial behavioral and skill data when we first updated them of the situation. Unfortunately, it appeared that when the electricity short-circuited between 2057 and 2102, the floating kettle leading to the subjects' location was disabled and too far away to safely super jump to, so they were forced to reset the fuses before moving onwards. By the time they were done, it was too late."

Silence followed, and Jensen felt his fear returning prickling the back of his neck. Perhaps he misjudged; he was, after all, of a higher position, so it was feasible that the Siren would entertain him for a bit longer than the norm before disposing of him.

"Very well," the Siren announced. "Continue attempting to patch through. I want a team of three, preferably without the agents, assembled and deployed underground to take stock of the situation. I don't want them to interfere; just observe and prevent fatal injury. I also want you to summon the agents here, and I want you to get the file on Fault B for me. And while you're outside, either send someone or yourself to check on Threat C. I don't know how he's reacting, or what he's planning, and I don't like what I don't know."

Jensen nodded a swift affirmative, relieved that he had left unscathed for the time being.

"And Jensen?"

"Yes sir?"

"I'm docking your pay."

Jensen winced internally. Well, _relatively_ unscathed.

* * *

 **Yeet. Now we're getting into the meat of things. All major characters have been introduced one way or another, no matter how briefly (hint hint wink wink). If there were any grammatical errors that slipped my check, I apologize.**

 **And as always, reviews are appreciated. Thank you!**


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